How To Overcome Your Fears And Become More Resilient w/ Lt. Col. Waldo Waldman
Lt. Col. Waldo Waldman has NOT ONLY flown 65 combat missions and logged 2,650 flight hours…
… but he’s also a NYT Bestselling author and Hall of Fame public speaker (joining the ranks of people like Ronald Reagan, Zig Ziglar, and Les Brown).
Today, you’re going to learn some of Waldo’s hard earned strategies for overcoming fear, building relationships, and performing under pressure.
Let’s dive in.
The Top 3 Strategies Waldo Used To Overcome His Fears Of Claustrophobia & Heights And Become A Decorated Fighter Pilot
Here’s something that’s almost too crazy to believe:
Waldo is not only afraid of heights… but he’s also claustrophobic.
How is that even possible?
How can you fly 65 combat missions despite having two MASSIVE fears that are a basic part of a fighter pilot’s job description?
Here are the 3 top strategies Waldo used to overcome his fears, and how you can do the same.
How To Overcome Your Fears Strategy #1:
Love Lifts & Fear Drags
Here are some of Waldo’s thoughts on how to get past those fears that are preventing you from that next level of your growth:
What I did when I was dealing with my fears at thirty thousand feet on an eight hour night mission in Iraq is I would have to get focused on what I love.
I was massively afraid of heights and had to jump off a 33 foot diving board in order to graduate from the Air Force Academy and even get considered for pilot training. It was a prerequisite, and some people didn’t do it.
I was single at the time, 18 years old, I was looking down, and my future of being a fighter pilot was before me. Something that I was in love with — my goal.
I was the last of my class to do it. But I faced my fear and stepped out of my comfort zone, which I think we need to do. We all have those thirty three feet high diving boards in our life that are holding us back from the next level of success. But it’s that next level of risk that’s sometimes necessary to grow our business, life, entrepreneurship, or our relationships.
So for you, what’s that compelling goal that keeps you up at night, and gets you out of bed? You’ve got to be focused on that. So distract yourself from yourself by focusing on what it is that you love. When you do that, you don’t care what other people think.
You don’t care about anything else but taking care of that person you love or focusing on that dream.
As Waldo says, “love lifts, and fear drags.” Overcoming your fears means you must have an intense focus on what you love… not what you’re afraid of.
As Waldo says, “love lifts, and fear drags.” Overcoming your fears means you must have an intense focus on what you love… not what you’re afraid of.
How To Overcome Your Fears Strategy #2:
Focus On Serving Others
So often when we’re afraid of something, we’re focused on ourselves.
Waldo has discovered that one of the keys to conquering our fears is to turn your attention from yourself to serving others:
What I did when I was in battle and having panic attacks and my claustrophobia was kicking in… I would focus on my wingman — The guy or gal that I was flying with who needed me to win and to survive.
I was their leader. They needed me. When somebody is depending on you, you realize that love is a byproduct of service.
So I was serving these folks by being their wingman, and having their back. And when you distract yourself from yourself by focusing on your team… then you become present. Then your fear no longer is at the top of your mind. It gets subjugated and sublimated to people… to human… heart to heart. And you realize the inordinate responsibility you have as a human being to help others out.
And that’s what I think everyone should do when you’re in the darkest of moments to reach out for help and find that wingman who can lift you up. But also, you need to think of those other people in the dungeon of despair, paralyzed by their fears, who may be in a worse position than you. And you reach out to them, figure out a way to have their back, support them, lift them up, and you’ll find in your life that you’ll build so many amazing relationships.
And the success may not come immediately from that person. But you’re going to build a character and reputation of love and service that will serve you so well. It may not necessarily may not be monetary at first, but those relationships will eventually lead to revenue and assets in life, that’s the key.
How To Overcome Your Fears Strategy #3:
Could Your Fears Be A Byproduct Of Your Lack Of Preparation?
Waldo: Look, at the end of the day, I think we can all understand you’re always afraid of dying, being shot down, or letting your wingman down. So the fear of performance and failure while performing is very, very common.
This is why we always go back to training and preparation. Your skill set and your mindset allows you to build that confidence and courage to go in there and execute. So because of that, your fears may be a byproduct of your lack of preparation.
So don’t kid yourself, people. You’ve got to prepare, put in the time, learn the skills, and develop the acumen.
But you also want to have trust in your wingman to execute the mission. And so while I was afraid, I knew that we all had amazing training and preparation as fighter pilots, I all knew we went through serious discipline and had consistency across our squadron that everyone, by the time they earned their wings, was prepared to go.
So I’m telling you, man, it’s scary as heck going into battle. But when you know that you have teammates who have your back and are going to support you, confidence gets inspired and you can accelerate that courage necessary to win.
Air Force Lessons You Can Use To Take Your Life To The Next Level
Outside of overcoming fears, Waldo’s Air Force experience also can teach us a lot about how to achieve peak performance.
Here are foundational Air Force lessons you can apply to your life today:
Air Force Lesson #1:
The Importance Of “Checking Six”
Waldo: When you’re sitting in an F-16, you’re in a tiny little cockpit, barely able to move and you can’t see your vulnerable position, which is immediately behind you — your six o’clock.
But if you have a wingman next to you, it’s easier for them to look over their shoulder and see that blind spot — to see what you can’t see — and to call out the threat to you.
On one mission, I had four missiles launched on me. Just so you can picture it, the missiles were like fifty five foot telephone poles with a bomb on it… and they were pointing up at me.
When they launched, my buddy Pigpen called out, ‘break right! Break right! Missiles on your left at your three o’clock!’
So I helped maneuver the missiles out of the way, and then he shot a missile in to take that target out. So we had my back. He was my wingman. And help me survive that day.
So in your life, you need that wingman to provide that perspective, to call out the blind spot that you may not see because of your lack of experience, lack of skill, or lack of knowledge. But somebody in your life may have that resource, an insight to build that situational awareness because they understand something better than you and they may see something different… because we all have those blind spots.
So to build those collaborative relationships, you need to know two things. Number one is to be approachable. We all have folks who you don’t want to approach because they’re going to get defensive or ticked off or angry. They let their ego get in the way of listening to advice. They’re not approachable.
And so to be a great wingman, partner, or mentor, you need to be approachable.
Number two is to be coachable. You need to be humble enough to know that you may not know at all. So seek out content, relationships and intel.
Air Force Lesson #2:
Chair Flying: The Secret To Performing Under Pressure
Waldo: Before we jump into an F-16 for real (a forty million dollar jet), we jump into a forty dollar seat.
In that seat, we practice the radio calls, throttle maneuvers, rolling in on the target, or, God forbid, the procedures for dealing with an engine fire. So we practice not at nine Gs but at one G on the ground.
And so we “chair fly” everything. But what’s critically important is that you also practice with your peers, partners, managers, supervisors, and people that are smarter and more skillful than you because you want them challenging and coaching you.
You want to chair fly under pressure because guess what, when you’re in that F-16 flying in combat and the missiles are real, you don’t have an opportunity to fail. You often get one shot.
So practice under pressure because you’re going to have that pressure in the real world. So “chair fly” with your wingmen who are going to compel you to get better and even bruise your ego and embarrass the living heck out of you… because it’s better to do it on the ground rather than in the air where you can potentially get your butt shot down.
Air Force Lesson #3:
Why You Need To Jettison Your Aircraft To Fly To Greater Heights
One thing that we do in combat is when you need to maneuver away from missiles, you jettison everything on your aircraft — the fuel tanks and even the weapons. You need to be as light and maneuverable as possible.
So for you, you need to jettison everything that’s weighing you down so that you can maneuver. For some of us, it could be the negative relationships that we have — the “wing nuts” and not the wing men and women. Maybe it’s the bad habits you have.
So be aware of what your bad habits are, and be willing to jettison those and release them so that you’re more maneuverable and later in life it’ll help lift you up to new heights.
Air Force Lesson #4:
Beware Of Distractions Disguised As Opportunities
Waldo: General Robin Olds was a retired one star general, and he was a fighter pilot in WWII and Vietnam. When I started my F-16 transition training, I saw him speak and he shared a quick story.
Once he was flying in combat with a young wingman over Vietnam, trying to take out targets at about thirty thousand feet. And the young wingman, the number four aircraft, called out, ‘Flight lead, I have enemy aircraft on our nose twenty miles low.’
General Old’s acknowledged. A minute or two passes, the jets are maybe five or 10 miles away, and then the number four wingman says, ‘One, this is four — I’ve got an enemy aircraft, on our nose, low, five miles out!’
General Old’s acknowledged. Another minute or so passes and they’re right underneath those enemy aircrafts, and they could all roll in and take them out very easily. And the number four aircraft says, ‘One, this is four — confirm clear to engage the enemy aircraft? They’re right underneath us!’
General said, “Negative — press”, meaning to continue pressing to the objective that was set on the ground four hours ago. So they continued to take out the target, and after they completed the mission, they came back and debriefed.
When it came time for the number four aircraft to share what he saw, he said, “Sir, why didn’t we take out those aircrafts? We all had those aircrafts in sight. We all could have been heroes by taking them out.”
General Olds responded and said, “First of all, I saw those aircraft five minutes before you even saw them. But what you didn’t see was that there was an enemy four ship formation hiding where we couldn’t see them… waiting for us to roll in on the distraction so that they could come in at our six o’clock and take us out.”
This story underscores an important point of communication in battle. Many times we focus on opportunities that we think are important, but really they are distractions disguised as opportunities. So your job as a leader is to be focused on those long term targets that are going to grow your business, team, and life… and not get distracted by easy threats that may pull you off of your trajectory. Don’t let them blow you off target. Stay focused on what’s important.
But in the same sense, be open to some of the threats that may turn hot on you, because in the story, if those aircraft were really going to shoot them down… they would have had to transition from taking out targets to taking out threats.
This is a very, very important point, because if we are so focused on just going for the target and we avoid that and we just don’t even acknowledge the threat that could shoot us down. Then that’s a recipe for failure as well. Sometimes you’ve got to transition and it may have to do with your health and fitness and other pressing things in your life that may be more important than your business, for example.